It has become commonplace in today’s world for leaders and public figures to lie and deny as a standard practice. Acceptance of untruths sends the signal to the general population that this form of behavior is acceptable. Although most people do not believe it is acceptable to lie or avoid telling the truth, deceptive people share this commonality. All people can learn to use the lie detection tools that are built into all humans as a birthright and are intended as the means to know truth from untruth. These natural human abilities already exist within you. As you become aware of the techniques and tell-tale signs, you will begin to build your level of confidence in always being able to distinguish truth from falsities.
The first lie detection ability on our list is the capability of listening deeply while using the information you learn to recognize truth when you hear it and differentiate it from the lies that might surround it. Remember that there is a reason you have twice as many ears as you have mouths. If you practice listening twice as much as you talk, you are likely to become an extraordinary listener. Listening is an essential skill we can develop and utilize to determine truth from untruth whenever any person is speaking. The practice of deep listening affords us the ability to recognize oral (spoken) deception throughout our day, regardless of where we are or who we are listening to. This process is referred to as Linguistic Analysis and helps us detect speech that includes verbal signs of deception. In other words, if we listen with a trained ear, we are capable of recognizing lies when we hear them.
Becoming a good listener goes hand-in-hand with communication techniques you must learn to aid your understanding of what people tell you. You cannot determine the truthfulness of a person if you do not possess an understanding of what people have communicated to you.
Hear them out, regardless of what they are saying. Wait patiently for them to finish, before you speak, even if they are not telling the truth.
Help people tell you what you need to know by asking questions that promote answers that are more transparent. People will “open up” with this subtle encouragement technique. Listening to people will help you get to know them and empower you to recognize and understand truths from untruths, deceit, and manipulation.
Vocal qualities give you information you need from your listener. Just as your own vocal qualities give away what you are thinking and feeling, so do those of your subject. Vocal qualities add meaning to words and completely change the meaning. Example: If you read the word “Oh”, it could have any one of about eight different meanings. If you say (or hear) the word “Oh” with passion it might become “OOOOOH!” Changes the meaning just a bit, doesn’t it? How about as a question…Oh? And as an exclamation…Oh! Or painfully…Oh! (As in, that hurts!) Volume, Inflection, Clarity, Pitch, Speed, Rhythm, and Resonance (tone and quality) are all major vocal qualities. The vocal qualities of all people are valid indicators of what they are feeling as they speak.
Truth Tellers tend to just tell it like it is and let the chips fall where they may. They believe the truth is always the best path and that if they tell the truth, it will stand the test of time and will win every debate. Believe it or not, even liars prefer not to lie when they can help it. Out-and-out lies carry a high risk of detection for a falsifier. Typically, the strategy of a deceptive person is not to answer a question with a lie and instead try to avoid answering the question at all. A common method of dodging questions is to respond with a question with another question. Avoidance of answering a question is a fair indicator that the answer would likely be a lie. We all know people that answer our questions with another question and never get around to giving us an answer, at all. This behavior should raise a red flag and wave it around in front of us. Be alert to responses such as:
"Why would I do that?"
"Do I seem like the kind of person who would do something like that?"
“Don't you think somebody would have to be pretty stupid to do that?"
“I’m not going to discuss that with you. End of conversation.”
Pay attention to whether a person answers a specific question or avoids answering it. It’s usually a good indicator of a person’s uprightness and transparency level.
Most people tend to speak in sentences of between 10 and 15 words. When people feel anxious about an issue, they tend to speak in sentences that are either significantly longer or significantly shorter than the norm.
Truth Tellers are confident that the facts they provide will prove the accuracy of their statements. As such, they do not feel the need to participate in the dance of proofs like deceptive people do. Disingenuous people attempt to give as little useful information as possible to listeners who might attempt a challenge of their story, but they do go to great extremes to convince us that what they say is true. Falsifiers often use oaths to try to make their statements sound more convincing. Liars are substantially more likely than truth tellers to pepper their statements with expressions such as:
"On my honor,"
"With God as my witness,"
"Cross my heart."
Truth Tellers remember things—along with many details attached to a situation. Words of uncertainty, and vague terms provide a deceptive person the possibility of modifying their story at a later date without directly contradicting the original story. Ambiguity leaves a lot of room for a liar to recover from the lie later. Falsifiers like to be as noncommittal as possible for exactly this reason. These types of word usage are commonplace for those being deceptive.
Noncommittal Verbs: think, believe, guess, suppose, figure, assume
Equivocating Adjectives and Adverbs: sort of, almost, mainly, perhaps, maybe, about
Vague Qualifiers: you might say, more or less
People telling the truth regularly use the pronoun "I" to describe what happened. Truth Tellers generally take ownership of their words and actions and use normal references to themselves using pronouns like “I” and “me”. Deceptive people often leave out any self-referencing pronouns and do their best to minimize any reference to themselves. They regularly eliminate referencing themselves in their story by substituting the pronoun "you" for "I." Instead of answering the question, ‘Was your door locked?’ with the expected, “Well, I regularly check to make sure my doors are locked so yes, I’m sure it was locked.” (complete ownership of behavior or action) they might say, “Well, you regularly check to make sure your doors are locked, so surely it would have been.” (no ownership of behavior or action) Another way dishonest people eliminate self-referencing is to describe situations in a passive voice, such as:
“The phone got answered” instead of “I answered the phone”,
“The door was left opened” instead of “I left the door open”,
“It was authorized, or It got authorized” instead of “I authorized it”.
Falsifiers who pathologically lie tend to speak in this passive voice so much it becomes a polished habit, not requiring forethought. When you come across a person that seems to never take ownership of their behavior and continually excludes referencing themselves—preferring the passive choice of ‘you’ ‘they’ or ‘it was’ or ‘it got’, rest-assured, you are dealing with a person who regularly manipulates, deceives and lies throughout every day.
Falsifiers use euphemisms to describe their behavior in a more favorable light and minimize their actions and any damage they might have done. They attempt to make themselves look better in their story. Euphemisms are mild or vague synonyms for words with a harsher meaning, such as:
"missing" instead of "stolen,"
"borrowed or used” instead of "took,"
"barely touched or bumped" instead of "hit or collided,"
"advised or warned" instead of "threatened."
Truthful people normally describe experiences in the past tense. Contrarily, deceptive people often refer to past events as if the events were occurring in the present. This happens because the person is rehearsing the event in their mind. When the speaker changes to inappropriate present tense usage, there’s a good chance deception is the cause. Here’s an example:
“I went (past) to Susie’s house after (past) she got mad at me.
So, I get (present) there and ring (present) the bell, she answers (present) the door and I go (present) inside with her.
I’m calmly (present) sitting beside her on the couch and trying (present) to reason with her.
Suddenly, she jumps (present) up and starts yelling (present) at me (present).
She’s yelling (present) so loud I can’t (present) even understand what she’s saying (present).
She storms out (present) of her house and slams (present) the door behind her, breaking the glass on her door, (present) yet she seems oblivious (present).
Then she told (past) everyone that I came (past) over while she was out of town and smashed (past) the glass on her front door and broke (past) into her house.”
Truth Tellers take ownership of their behavior and whatever action they took by simply saying “I did this, that or the other thing.” Falsifiers, on the other hand, might allude to actions without saying they actually performed them. This lets them imply they did a certain thing without actually saying they did it. Alluding to an action often makes the listener think the speaker is owning a particular action, but in fact, they are not. Here’s an example:
"I try to help my neighbor with her chores every day at 9:00 AM.
Last week, I decided to plan my reading time for right after I help my neighbor, every day.
I also planned to get a nap after my reading each afternoon.
This week I feel like I’m accomplishing more and I’m not as tired as I normally am.”
The falsifier alluded to all these actions without ever actually saying she completed any of them. Don’t assume people perform every action they allude to.
Truth Tellers’ stories usually contain very specific details; some of which may not even seem at all relevant to the story. This happens because truth tellers are retrieving details from their long-term memory. Our brains store lots of facts about each experience we have throughout any given day. Subsequently, when we recall information from our memory, we pull up all the details surrounding that experience along with the details of the experience, itself. We might remember the new jeans we were wearing at the time, the song that was playing on the radio, the woman passing by on the sidewalk who reminded us of Aunt Susie, the conversation that was interrupted when the dog barked. We can pretty much count on at least some of the details showing up with any memory of a truth teller. Fabricators of a story, tend to keep their story simple and brief. Most liars do not have enough creativity to make up detailed imageries of fictitious experiences, situations, or events. Deceptive people want to minimize the risk that a listener will discover details that contradict any aspect of their story; always hoping the fewer facts that could be proved false, the better their chances of disguising their stories as true. Seemingly inconsequential details are referred to as tangential verbal data and their presence is believed to be a prime indication the truth is being told. The absence of these details indicates untruths are being told.
Non-Verbal Communication skills are the missing pieces of the puzzle for determining truth. They are the magic in truth detection. The communication skills you must master to determine truth, is the ability to watch what people are doing while they speak and how they react when others speak. Verbal communication allows you to listen for the truth or lack thereof. Non-Verbal communication allows you to watch for truths or lack thereof. Your ability as a human lie-detector increases immensely when you evaluate both the verbal and non-verbal communications of your subject.
Often, Body Language and Facial Expressions say what words do not. Listeners commonly tell us they are doing anything but listening, without saying a word, just as speakers tell us they are not being truthful without saying a word. Listeners also show signs of concealing information, guilt, deceitfulness, and manipulation without saying a word. Learning to observe and interpret body language helps you understand the people you listen to as well as the people listening to you or others in your presence.
Body Language is the interpretation and evaluation of gestures, movements, and changes during speech patterns or while listening. A single gesture or movement is like speaking a single word. A gesture by itself will likely be incomplete and not tell you what you need to know. Gesture Clusters are more than one gesture that link together to tell a story: much like a sentence or paragraph. Watch for indicators and patterns your subject displays while they speak and while they listen.
The movements, gestures and gesture clusters of all people are revealing indications of what they think, believe, and tell us without ever saying a word. As such, it is important to understand what these body language indicators mean so you can accurately evaluate truth from untruth.
Tightly crossed legs proclaim disagreement whereas tightly crossed arms signal defensiveness.
Tightly clenched hands point toward a tense listener and hand wringing is usually a warning sign that the listener is under pressure. Finger steepling signify great self-confidence. Hands joined behind the head or neck is a signal of authority or superiority.
Body Mirroring is the physical act of mimicking your subject’s movements and gestures. It sends silent (almost subliminal) messages to your client that you are like he or she is. It gives the person you mirror the feeling of familiarity. Familiarity breeds trust. Beware of being manipulated by this gesture. Notice when others are mirroring YOU.
Unbuttoned collar or jacket, removal of a jacket, moving closer together, uncrossing legs or arms, and leaning forward in a chair, indicate openness, honesty, and sincerity.
Chin stroking, tilted head, leaning forward, hand on cheek, hand on the face, signal your subject is evaluating, considering, questioning, investigating, or thinking details through.
The dropping of eyeglasses to the lowest part of the nose’s bridge while the person peers over the top of them, sideward glances, little to no eye contact, moving away or shifting away in a chair, rubbing the bridge of the nose or middle of the forehead or frequent touching of the bridge, or squinted eyes indicates your subject is negatively evaluating the information at hand.
Finger drumming, leaning or cupping head in hand, picking at lint or brushing it, looking at a watch, clock or exit, the body pointing toward the exit, foot swinging, leg jiggling, and ankle twirling all signal boredom or impatience but could also suggest the subject’s desire to flee for another reason such as the anxiety or anticipation of being caught or exposed.
Sitting on the edge of a chair, a bouncing movement; usually accompanied by a nodding head while standing, hand on hip or both hands on both hips asserts the readiness of the subject.
Closed eyes, downward slumping head, or pinching the nose bridge, hints the subject is experiencing inner-conflict.
Pursed lips, clenched fists, rigid body, tightly crossed legs or arms, darting or sideward glancing eyes are all strong indications the subject is defensive.
Watching for changes in gestures is equally as important as observing them in the first place. Gesture shifts are strong indicators of positive or negative modifications in attitude. If you miss the gesture changes you might not be aware the subject has shifted their attitude or demeanor.
Uncrossing legs or arms
Increased eye contact
Crossing legs or arms
Decreased eye contact
Everything in the universe is made of energy and emits its own frequency. Every being that ever lived and everything about them—including their; thoughts, events, words, deeds, feelings, and attitudes, discharge a unique frequency (a minute energy field) that remains in the field of consciousness, permanently recorded for all of time. Specific levels in the field of consciousness are calibrated from 1-1000 and are referred to as the levels of human consciousness. Kinesiology (muscle testing) is used to calibrate the energy fields of human consciousness. Truth, those things beneficial and those things pro-life, cause the body’s musculature to go strong in a natural response. Those things false, detrimental, and life-threatening naturally cause our musculature to go weak. As such, muscle testing is a built-in lie detector for all people with a level of consciousness of 200 or more. There are three types of muscle tests; one of which requires the participation of two people. The second that requires more practice than the third. Since we are discussing how we can determine when people are being honest or dishonest, and it makes sense you’ll need to utilize your lie-detecting skills independently of another person, we’ll focus on the third muscle test that we can all perform without assistance and without much practice.
Muscle testing is simple. This test is the simplest. Using your non-dominant hand, with your thumb and middle finger touching at the tips, form a circle. With your dominant hand (the hand you write with) form your pointing finger like a hook and hook it through the circle formed with your thumb and middle finger of your opposite hand gripping the circle.
All answers to all questions lie within each of us. Muscle testing is simply the proof we all long for to establish if we can be sure of the truths, we think we find. Understand that to rely on the result of muscle testing, we must do all things relative to the test in the positive since the universe does not operate in the negative.
State that you have permission ask this question or that this question or calibration is for the highest good. Never expect to receive the truth if your own intention is a manipulation or for a negative purpose. The truth will not be given you unless your intention and purpose for the answers are both honorable and good.
When posing a question to determine the truth, we must make it a statement, not a question. It must be positive, not negative. Examples: Instead of asking “Is John Doe telling the truth about his shoes being stolen?” You would state; “John Doe’s shoes were stolen.” Using this example, you form your circle on one hand and hook your pointer through the circle with a good grip. Then say, “John Doe’s shoes were stolen” as you pull with your pointer hook and resist the pressure by holding your circle together. If the circle doesn’t break and holds strong, the shoes were stolen. John Doe is telling the truth. If the circle is weak and breaks, the shoes were not stolen. John Doe is lying.
This simple test can be done wherever you are and requires nothing but your fingers. You will get better at testing truth with practice and as you learn more of details of how to make positive statements and receive answers.
You cannot ask, “Will I make a million dollars?” or predict the future with muscle testing. Muscle testing is a validation of what is, not of what might happen in the future. It is a simple verification method of what already exists in the field of consciousness, using the inner knowing we all have. Your muscle strength and weakness will always tell you what is good or bad, positive or negative, true or false.
If you have read our information on the levels of human consciousness, and you want to test your own level of consciousness to learn what level of consciousness you have attained, you can do so using this muscle test. (You should never test another person’s level and tell them what you discovered.) To test your own level, make your circle and hook in your pointer finger. State the number you want to start at. Example: Say “My level of consciousness calibrates at 250.” Muscle test as you say it out loud or in your mind. If it holds while you muscle test say, “My level of consciousness calibrates at 260.” If it holds say, My level of consciousness calibrates at 270.” Keep going until your circle breaks. If it breaks on your first number choice, then say a lower number. When your circle breaks the number is not true. When it holds it is true but may be higher, so keep going.
Remember, you can use this test to determine the truth about anything in the past or current time, not in the future.
Because you can use this test wherever you are, you have the ability to know when a person is telling the truth or being deceitful. Always use this and all things to their highest good.
This content is an excerpt from the book THINK IT SO! © Jan Cohen 2000 and is published with her permission.